• Aftercare - Emotional and physical care after a scene that is agreed to prior to beginning. Usually in reference to a top taking care of a bottom but sometimes the reverse. Aftercare often includes touching base with a play partner the next day. 
• Age Play - an interaction where one adult takes an older role and another adult takes a younger role with a large age gap between. Does not usually include or imply aspects of incest, but rather the nurturing relationship of parent/child or teacher/student. This roleplay may be a sexualized relationship or it may not. 
• Bondage – Any type of restraint, can include anything from fuzzy handcuffs to rope ties. Bottom – Person receiving the action in a scene. May or may not take on a submissive role. 
• Bottom – Person receiving the action in a scene. May or may not take on a submissive role. 
• BDSM – Acronym that stands for Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism. Consensual power exchange is the basis of BDSM interactions. Power exchange takes place after discussion and negotiation wherein one person agrees to submit to specific activities and the other agrees to be in control for a certain period of time. Communication takes place before, during and after to ensure consent. 
• Collar – A collar is often used to indicate some form of committed relationship, usually in a D/s or M/s relationship. In some cases, it is analogous to a wedding ring. 
• Consent – Explicit Prior Permission for consent to kink requires: 1) verbal or written negotiations and agreement prior to beginning any kink or sexual acts, 2) identifying the specific forms and the extent of force, restraint or threats that are allowed prior to beginning any kink or sexual acts – you aren’t allowed to seriously injure someone even if they consent, 3) agreeing to the specific words or gestures that will withdraw the permission – your safeword or safe signal, 4) specifying exactly what expressions of unwillingness or other absence of consent are going to be roleplayed, and 5) everyone must be an adult and of sound mind to consent, meaning they aren’t in subspace, intoxicated or having a mental health issue. 
• Contract - A written agreement between the dominant & submissive, agreed to after negotiating as equals, outlining the structure, guidelines, rules, responsibilities and boundaries of the relationship. It is not legally binding. 
• Dominant – A person who has negotiated authority over a submissive in a scene or relationship. 
• Drop - Also called sub-drop or top-drop. A state of physical or emotional exhaustion due to intense stimulation experienced by both tops and bottoms. Most common after particularly intense scenes (even if the scene was thoroughly enjoyed). Drop can include: sadness, remorse or guilt, physical shaking or chills, crying, and simple but profound exhaustion. 
• Dungeon – A semi-public play space where BDSM play can take place.
• Dungeon Monitor – Sometimes referred to as a DM, a person who supervises the interactions between participants at a play party to enforce the rules. Trained in first aid and safe play, they can interrupt a scene if they see something dangerous. 
• Edge Play – Play that has a higher level of risk, like play piercing. 
• Fetishes – Sexual interest in non-sexual objects like feet or latex clothing. 
• FetLife – Similar to Facebook for the kink community, this website provides ways to meet other people in the scene, to find out about educational offerings, and access support through discussion boards of like-minded people. www.fetlife.com 
• Genderqueer - A catch-all category for gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine. 
• Impact Play – Using hands or other implement like canes or floggers to impact the body. 
• Kink – An umbrella term for BDSM activity that can also include activities like fetishes, cross dressing, role play and consensual exhibitionism/voyeurism. 
• Lifestyle – Can refer to the kink subculture or the swinger subculture. 
• Limit - Boundaries set on behaviors, words and interactions that are non-negotiable.
• Master/slave - A consensual, negotiated non-egalitarian relationship dynamic. It is important to know what this means to each of the participants prior to agreeing to the relationship. 
• Negotiation – Process of discussing and agreeing upon potential BDSM play as equals before entering into a scene. See also: Consent.
• Pansexual – A person who may feel attraction to individuals at any point on the gender identity spectrum and anywhere on the sexual orientation spectrum. 
• Play – A session of BDSM activities, typically defined within a period of time. Also referred to as a scene. 
• Power Exchange – Consensual power exchange is the basis of BDSM interactions. Power exchange takes place after discussion and negotiation wherein one person agrees to submit to specific activities and the other agrees to be in control for a certain period of time.
• RACK – An acronym for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. 
• Role play – Taking on roles for a period of time, could be something like student/teacher or French maid.
• Safe Call - A safety protocol used when meeting a new play partner privately for the first time. It usually involves a phone call at a pre-arranged time to a pre-arranged person to let them know that everything is fine. If the call is not made, or if pre-arranged codes are not exchanged, the police are contacted. 
• Safeword - An agreed upon word that they can use to stop an activity at any time. Common safewords include “safeword” as well as a traffic light system where “red” means stop, “yellow” means slow/need a break, “green” means more/harder. A safe signal is used when someone is gagged or may have trouble communicating verbally, such as dropping a set of keys or tapping.
• Scene – 1) A session of BDSM activities, typically defined within a period of time, or 2) The kink subculture. 
• Sensation Play – Manipulating sensations, either adding in a sensual way or depriving of them. 
• SSC – An acronym for Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Sub-space - a trance-like state induced by the body’s endorphins. They are released in response to pain, pleasure, or other intense sensations. 
• Submissive – Person who accepts the dominance or power that is consensually exerted over them by their partner. 
• Switch - A person who can take on both the top/bottom and dominant/submissive roles at different times or with different people. 
• Top – Person doing the action in a scene. May or may not also take a Dominant role. 
• Vanilla – A descriptive term used to describe activity that does not fall within the BDSM spectrum.

Information provided courtesy of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom